some of my brother's greatest hits.

AFTER MY 21ST BIRTHDAY:
"The problem with having a 21 year old sister is how do I know she won't come home drunk with a shotgun?!"

AFTER SEEING A GAME OF LACROSSE:
"It's always been my dream to hit somebody with a stick."

WHILE WASHING MY CAR:
"Don't worry, I'm trained."

UPON SEEING A COOKING TOOL CALLED 'THE SMOKING GUN':
"That must be smoking good."

ON HOW LONDON IS BETTER THAN BORING THOUSAND OAKS:
"If we were in London it'd be like Disneyland, instead of being an 80-year-old at a boring amusement park for little kids. "

DOING RESEARCH FOR HIS BENJAMIN FRANKLIN PROJECT:
" There's no good pictures of lightning rods on the computer."

WHEN MY MOTHER ONCE REMARKED HE WAS EATING A LOT:
"Well, sorry my small intestine must be fast at digesting. It takes 12 to 24 hours to finish digesting food. Depending on how big it is and how good other digesting things are working, like your saliva. So in 12 hours I might have to poop."

WHEN I ASKED IF HE WOULD COME VISIT ME IN LONDON:
"Like heck!"